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My word for 2012

Jan 082012

Happy… Old Year?

I’m a little behind. Forgive me, I’ve been busy.

Like so many other bloggers, I’ve chosen a word for 2012. I have a feeling 2012 is going to be a big year, and not just because there are theories that the world is going to end come December. (Personally I don’t buy it, but lots of people do so I have to acknowledge it.)

The word I’ve chosen for 2012 is:

create

I want to create great content for hellomelissa.net
I want to create more in general
I want to create a happy, settled, comfortable home for me and my family
I want to create the life I want for myself, which will benefit my family

It’s a short list, but they’re pretty lofty ambitions. Wish me luck.

Timeout

family, flora, life, motherhood, parenthood 2 Responses »

Dec 272011

I’ve been off work since the Tuesday before Christmas. I’ve been grateful for the time off, but at times the change in our routines has made me less than pleasant to the family. At one point, my frustrations boiled over and I put myself in timeout. I had been yelling a little too much about stuff that wasn’t a big deal. I told Sean and Flora I needed to be by myself for a bit and I went up to my room to calm down so I could interact with the family like a normal person.

The following set of tweets explain what happened after that.

I am so lucky to have such a caring little girl. She was so gentle and really emphasized her need to check on me. My timeout, while needed, was shorter than I expected it to be, thanks to her. I told Flora how thankful I was that she checked on me to see that I was okay. Lots of hugs were exchanged and we enjoyed the rest of our evening together as a family.

Like all parents, I’m struggling to do the best I can to raise Flora right. I could tell you about a million mistakes I’ve made already. Watching her care about others at such a young age makes me think Sean and I are doing something right.

Overwhelmed

adventures, family, irritants, life 7 Responses »

Nov 192011

Sean went out last night. After I put Flora to bed, I had the evening to myself. There were a million things I could have done. Should have done. Instead I sat in my chair, had my dinner, watched TV, and played around online. A typical evening, productivity be damned.

I feel like I’m barely holding on to my life. Most nights after Flora goes to bed, I just want to sit and relax. Those few hours after her bedtime and before mine are the only hours I have complete control over my time. The only time in my day where no one wants anything significant from me.

My house looks like a bomb went off most of the time. Since we’re considering selling it in the next few months, I feel worse about the state of my home than I usually do. Sean has started decluttering his stuff (something he’s needed to do for years) and has begun organizing some general repairs we’ve been putting off. I’ve packed my books for storage in my mum’s basement but I’m having a hard time keeping up momentum to work through my decluttering.

There’s just so much to do. Going through our life’s accumulations to decide what comes with us and what gets passed on. Getting rid of enough stuff to make a trip to my local second-time-around shop worth the effort of packing it. I joke sometimes that I should just set the house on fire (with everyone out of it and safe of course). I know that is a horrible, irresponsible, hateful idea, but sometimes disaster feels better than actually doing the work.

Sean is the catalyst of this project. I am grateful that he doesn’t go into overwhelm like I do, but his methods are making me crazy. He has several half-finished decluttering jobs in progress throughout the house. I can’t work like that. I need to make a list, prioritize it and check the tasks off as I complete them one by one. The problem is I feel too overwhelmed to even make that list. My mental list is somewhat formulated, but I need to commit it to paper (or screen) so I can get the satisfaction of checking those tasks off when they are done.

My mum (bless her) has offered to come up and help us. It embarrasses me that I need that help. I know if I did a little bit each night, I’d make progress. I’m just so depleted by 8pm that I need to just decompress for a bit. Then when I’m finally relaxed, I don’t want to get up and start working again. I want to keep relaxing.

I need to figure something out because stuff needs to get done. What do you do?

My #BlissdomCanada recap: better late than never

adventures, hellomelissa.net, ideas, life, thinking, web, writing 7 Responses »

Oct 232011

So my Blissdom recap is happening more a full week after I came home from the last party. You know, the one where that guy from the late-80s boyband showed up.

No matter, I’m choosing to believe that I’ve taken time to consider my thoughts and formulate my opinions. It was not that my laptop was busted or that I have a life outside of the Internet – I mean really, who has *that* these days?

So I went to Blissdom Canada. I had a good time. It felt different from last year. I’ve been reading everyone else’s blogs all week and I’m not the only one who feels that way. I’m just glad I’m not crazy! The conference, and expo hall, were much larger. The round tables at the front of the session rooms filled up quickly so I usually ended up in the rows of seats at the back of the room. That took away from the community vibe a bit, but doing the whole room with tables would have fit fewer people in so I get why it was done that way.

A lot of people talked about feeling alone or disconnected from other people at the conference. I felt that way too sometimes, but honestly, I expected that. I go to these conferences alone. I’ve connected with lots of the attendees online and met several of them last year. Even with that ‘in’, I don’t like to interrupt other people’s conversations. I often spend a lot of time listening or observing in group situations. By the time I’m ready to comment on something, the moment has passed. I did my best to come out of my shell, but I know I didn’t interact nearly as much as I observed and listened. I did have a great dinner Friday night with Mel and Sherrie Mae, which made up for a lot of the shyness I was feeling earlier in the day.

Many (but not all) of the sessions talked about monetizing your blog, building your personal/professional brand, and working with corporate brands. I left the conference with my intent not to do any of those things intact. I’ve been comforted to learn this week that I am not the only person that feels that way.

When I introduced myself to people, my answer to their first question “how long have you been blogging?” was usually “I’ve been writing online for 11 years, but I’m not very good at it, because my stats aren’t great and my readership is small.” I inwardly cringed every time I said this, but I couldn’t stop myself. I was trying to build myself up by mentioning my longevity in the genre (even though longevity doesn’t really matter). Then I instantly knocked myself back down by saying that even though I have lots of experience, I’m still not “good at it”.

Way to go, self.

I don’t have as many readers and feedback as someone who hustles like crazy to promote themselves and their blog. While I have been blogging a long time, I haven’t always done it consistently. I also haven’t participated in the community aspect of blogging as much as I would like. I read, but rarely comment. (Hey, I remember when blogs didn’t even have comments!) So really, what am I doing to earn readers and feedback?

I want my voice, my writing, to matter. I realize this makes me sound incredibly narcissistic. I write about my life on the internet as a hobby – of course I’m (at least a little) narcissistic.

So ultimately, my takeaways are as follows:

In order to publish more, I need to write more. I need to find the time to do this.
I need to earn the feedback I want. Good writing is only the start.
I need to get a better handle on tasteful promotion, so I can get what I want without feeling gross or dirty about it.
I need to stop diminishing myself and develop confidence in my writing and my voice.

Now to actually get started on these things. Advice is welcome.

I went on a purse bender, and I remember everything

adventures, life 1 Response »

Sep 292011

I love purses. I’ve written several posts about various purses I’ve had over the years (for some examples, see here, here, here, and here). Purses are more than a utilitarian accessory for me. I love being able to find a handbag that matches both my fashion and organizational style, and more importantly, doesn’t cost me a fortune.

Normally, my average “purse bender” (what I call my obsessive shopping trip to find said perfect purse) takes me anywhere from a couple of days to a couple of weeks once I get seriously hunting. I get very focused and spend any spare moments hunting online for ideas and potential bargains on eBay.

I’ve hunted less-than-seriously for the last couple of weeks. My current purse was feeling heavy and I thought I should look for something a little bigger to accommodate my stash of stuff I like to bring everywhere with me (including a recently purchased Kobo eReader that I picked up with my birthday money – I love having so many books in my purse that don’t need a backpack for carrying.

I knew I was reaching bender-status when I spent some downtime hunting eBay. I rarely buy purses online. I like to check them out in person: feel the material, check for spots that might wear easily, look at the organization, and of course try them on.

To stop the online obsessing, I walked to Winners at lunch to see some purses in person. Sometimes realizing that the Perfect Purse™ doesn’t truly exist (for me, or for anyone) can stop a purse bender in its tracks.

I saw some okay bags, nothing outstanding at a price I was willing to pay for. (The joys of working in the Yorkville area of Toronto – the Winners is across the street from several couture/high-end fashion stores, so Winners’ merch can lean a little higher-end at this particular one.)

I have a weird thing for buying pink or purple purses. I’ve purchased them nearly exclusively for almost a decade. I’m a firm believer in colourful accessories – life is too short for all black and hot pink really pops against a black coat. I’m sure I break many fashionista’s hearts when I’m out and about, but it’s turned into a thing and I like it.

Today I branched out a little:

You guys! Look! It’s not all pink! Or purple! It’s pink! And purple! And grey! And turquoise! I’m really stepping out of my comfort zone here!

I almost passed it by, but I liked the shape of it. The colour scheme was just my style. The only thing I had against it was that it wasn’t a crossbody. (I love handsfree purses.) One advantage to it being a regular shoulder bag is that if my regular shoulder gets sore, I can switch shoulders. When I do that with a crossbody, it screws up my entire being and it just Feels Wrong.

So, I’ve branched out here. The fact that it was $29.99 before taxes sealed the deal. It passed the “I can’t put it down while walking through the store” test so off I went to the cash register to pay for it.

Walking back to work, I had a little spring in my step, and not buyer’s remorse. I got all the stuff from my old purse into it and wore it home. Another good sign. The front pockets (the ones that always hold my keys, subway pass and phone) were all easily accessible. Score!

Just for kicks, here’s a picture of all the crap that was in my purse. (My old purse is sitting behind all that crap. It looks a little sad.). I’ve already chucked all the old receipts and bits of trash at this point, but there’s still several odd items I didn’t know were there.

Best surprise items: a nearly-full size bottle of baby Tylenol (caught before the expiry!), and a pair of Flora’s (really, they are clean) underpants (the joys of potty-training). The sad thing here is that I actually knew about the underpants, but had forgotten to take them out after I discovered them last week (I KNOW!). Don’t worry, they’re in the laundry basket now.

Tell me about your tips for purse shopping. Are you as whackadoo about it as I am? If you do shop online, where do you go? (Especially if you’re in Canada.)

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