Lately, I’ve been full of ideas. Lots of ideas. Big ones, small ones, work-related, life-related, web-related – they run the gamut.

I haven’t really tried to act on any of them.

Sure, I’ve done a lot of “research” – manic Googling about the various things I’m thinking of but don’t know much about. I’m starting to realize that all this research, reading, whatever you want to call it, is just a form of procrastination and I just to need to figure out what I want to actually do and *do it*.

These last few sentences were hard to write, and I must have interrupted myself at least ten different times while writing them. Analyze that, will you?

I like ticking items off of lists. Maybe I need to write some new ones and start with those things. A little focus would probably go a long way.

…where I realize I may need a kick in the pants © melissa price-mitchell, Creative Commons Attribution-NonCommercial-NoDerivs 2.5 Canada.

March 2010 brings me to my 10th anniversary of blogging. My archives that you see on this site start at April 2000, but my first test posts that seem to be long gone were put up near the end of March 2000. I had a couple of Geocities websites before that, but they were more static in content. Blogging these last ten years has seen me through one free webspace provider, two self-hosted domains (and one domain for non-blog stuff), one blog-specific hosting service and now this site here. I’ve used three platforms (Blogger, Vox and now WordPress) and am now relieved that I don’t have to keep up with the bleeding edge of web design to create an attractive, functional website. When I coded my own pages, I used to spend hours just getting stuff to work – I have never been a professional web designer and I’ve never gotten my head around web programming. I’m grateful to so many people who have spent their time creating great things for other web users to use – and often for free. Thank you to each and every one of you.

I’m not telling you this to brag, to say “Look at me! I’m so cool! I’ve probably been doing this longer than you!” That is truly not my intent. I say this because I feel like after all this time, I am finally starting to come out of the woodwork and since few people realized I was here beforehand, I feel I have to mention my longevity in the medium to prove my legitimacy.

“Hey! I’m worth reading! I’ve been doing this forever! I’m not a flash in the pan!”

Lame, isn’t it? Especially since in all my years of doing this, I’ve never had much of an audience. I’ve always said ‘it’s not about the audience, it’s about me’ but I will freely admit that I would love to have a little bit more interaction. A few more readers that say something. A few more readers, frankly.

I’ve always had a hard time making friends. My mother always told me growing up that I had to reach out first. That people wouldn’t talk to me first. I always thought that if we’re all supposed to make the first move, how come no one is reaching out to me? Cue cycle of feeling lame and loserlike and not reaching out myself. That’s not to say I don’t have any friends. I do, and I love them all dearly. It’s just that none of them do this blogging thing, so it’s hard for them to relate. Some of them still don’t have high-speed internet access. I turned down an apartment when I moved to Toronto ten years ago specifically because it didn’t have high-speed internet, so clearly our priorities are a little different.

Now that I’ve explained myself as a longtime blogger who has a hard time making friends, let’s get to the point of this post.

Over the last few months, I have tried to reach out to the blogosphere at large. Making more replies on Twitter. Leaving comments on other people’s blogs. Going out to events where other bloggers will be – and actually being brave enough to speak up and say hi. These things have not come easy to me. I’m often shy around people I don’t know well, which can make meetups awkward. I also don’t like butting into established conversations, which makes commenting on blogs feel weird sometimes. Twitter has made some of this easier but I want to do better.

In the last two weeks, I’ve met some really great women at two events: PodCamp Toronto and the book launch for Mothering and Blogging: The Radical Act of the MommyBlog. I was so glad that I gathered up my courage and went out to these events. I learned things I didn’t expect to at both places and the social interaction was a lovely bonus.

I’m not sure that I’ll be turning into a social butterfly any time soon, but it’s nice to do more than lurk and wish I had went somewhere after the event has already taken place. I look forward to reaching out to all of you more and more.

Reaching Out © melissa price-mitchell, Creative Commons Attribution-NonCommercial-NoDerivs 2.5 Canada.

Apparently, pigeons like to take the TTC here in Toronto:

Typical Torontonians – everyone is trying to play cool and ignore it. But you know all those riders told everyone they knew when they got off the train.

This little guy dared to step on the yellow line while waiting. He does have an unfair advantage though, being able to fly away if someone pushes him.

I was just surprised that I could find three different videos of pigeons on the TTC. I had no idea it was such a common occurrence. Mice on the rails, yes. Birds flying into open subway stations, yes. Birds making it onto the train as if they were paying passengers going to work? Can’t say I knew about that.

But where do they keep their tokens? © melissa price-mitchell, Creative Commons Attribution-NonCommercial-NoDerivs 2.5 Canada.

Back in October, Sean and I joined the world of iPhone owners. Like so many others before us, once we got the hang of the touchscreens and how the phone worked, we went nuts picking out apps. We have some apps in common, but there really isn’t a whole lot of duplication. If you pick up our phones, you can definitely tell which is Sean’s and which is mine (and not just because of the purple case I use).

Here is a list of apps that I’m using a lot right now. You may find them useful, but one thing I’ve found while searching Apple’s App Store is that when you want an app for a specific purpose, there’s usually lots to choose from. But only one app has the one killer feature you need, or is set up to do things the way you want them to. So this list may help you, or it may lead you to other apps that work better for you. And your phone will look different from mine. Which will make picking it up off a table full of iPhones that much easier.

Favourite Twitter App: Echofon Pro for Twitter

Price: $4.99 (Free version available)

Echofon is by Naan Studio and exists as an iPhone app, a Mac app and a Firefox extension. I used the Firefox extension for a while last year back when it was still called ‘Twitterfox’. I find the single-column layout more useful on my iPhone, given the limited screen space. The app works well and can post pictures directly to my Flickr account which was a great bonus. Free and paid versions are available. The pro version does push notifications from other Echofon users. This has been the only Twitter app I’ve had on my phone since I’ve had it and it serves me well.

Favourite Messaging App: Ping!

Price: $0.99 (Free version also available)

Ping! is an iPhone-to-iPhone messaging app that replaces SMS messaging. (For all you Blackberry users, it’s like Blackberry Messenger). Great if you have a low SMS message plan. Sean and I use this to send quick messages to each other when we’re apart and a phone call is overkill or inappropriate.

There is a extra paid option in the pro app to send picture messages, but we haven’t bothered to upgrade to that yet. And it’s made by a fellow Torontonian to boot.

Favourite To-do App: Remember the Milk

Price: App itself is free, but requires a Pro Remember the Milk account to use it ($25/year).

I’ve been using my free Remember the Milk web account since 2007 so I knew I really wanted to have it sync with my iPhone so I could take my to-do list with me wherever I went. I haven’t been disappointed. RTM is very customizable, and allows you categorize your to-do lists in all sorts of different ways. Reminders can be received via email, SMS, Twitter and of course, iPhone push notifications. Tasks can be sent to RTM using any of these methods too. I keep all my to-do’s in here: from doctor’s appointments to website ideas. It really works for me. I would definitely recommend trying the web app for free before shelling out the $25 for the Pro account though.

Favourite List App: OurGroceries

Price: Free

OurGroceries is a very simple app that does something incredibly useful – it syncs lists between multiple iPhones. As you see, we’re using it for our groceries, our Costco runs and Sean’s growing cigar collection (I guess he thinks I’m going to support his habit). Any user can add to the list at any time and it will sync with the other users list when they open the app next. I like being able to add things to the list as I remember them (no missing paper lists), and Sean can do the same. Then whoever goes to the store next has a complete list. Tap the item and it gets crossed off. If the other person has the app on when the other one is shopping, they can see the items being crossed off. (Sean tried to mess with me one night by repeatedly adding garbage bags back to the list after I had crossed them off. Fortunately, I only bought one box of garbage bags.) There is also a saved recipe option where you can add the ingredients for a recipe in one tap, but we don’t use that.

Favourite RSS App: Byline

Price: $3.99 (described as a “special price in anticipation of version 3.0)

I must admit, I’m new to RSS and feed readers in general. I’ve tried different readers on my computer and just couldn’t get into it. What made me try Byline out was the fact that I could cache the articles and read them offline. This meant that I could load it up when I was online do some reading on the subway without an internet connection. This allows me to catch up on the blogs and sites I don’t always get to read but enjoy when I do. It syncs with Google Reader, so if you’re already set up there, you can have Byline set up really quickly.

Favourite Game Apps: Bejeweled 2 & Words with Friends

Price: $2.99 each (free version available for Words with Friends)

I feel like showing screenshots of these well-loved games will just fuel my addiction so you can have a look at the screenshots on your own. Bejeweled has several play modes, including Bejeweled Blitz, which hooks up to Facebook if you play there as well. Since I put this on my phone, I’m not sitting at my computer playing Bejeweled. Another great time filler for the subway (the scores sync up when you’re online next). As for Words with Friends, it’s a Scrabble clone that is played asynchronously. I can take my turn now, and my opponent could play in two minutes or two days. Players can have up to 20 games going at a time so it’s helpful to have lots of games on the go to make up for the slower players when you’re ready to play yourself. This game needs an online connection so not a subway timewaster. Good for just about anywhere else though.

I try not to go too crazy with app downloading, but these aren’t the only ones I have (I haven’t even mentioned the ones I got for Flora and I to play with!). What are your favourite apps? Let me know in the comments.

My Favourite iPhone Apps Right Now © melissa price-mitchell, Creative Commons Attribution-NonCommercial-NoDerivs 2.5 Canada.

I have a question for all you bloggers out there with young kids.

How do you find the time to write?

As you can see from the severe lack of content on this site lately, I’ve been having difficulty finding the time to write. There is just so much else to do!

I know that is a totally lame excuse. We all have lots to do, whether it’s kid stuff, work stuff, house stuff or other life stuff.

But seriously, how do you fit in time to write? I’d love some advice.

Finding the time to write © melissa price-mitchell, Creative Commons Attribution-NonCommercial-NoDerivs 2.5 Canada.

This is Sean’s new tattoo. The bull is the old logo for the Belleville Bulls, the OHL team closest to our hometown.

Here’s the story of how he ended up getting it today, and how I found out about it.

Sean and our friend Jason had made plans to go to Toronto’s Fan Expo today. They got all the way down there and discovered hordes of people in long lines that weren’t moving anywhere. They walked through various open doors to find more lines of people (many dressed up as their favourite character from whatever fandom they enjoy best). There were lines to buy tickets. There were lines to get in after those tickets were purchased. They decided that waiting in all those lines wasn’t worth their time. So they left.

What’s with all this buildup? I’ll get to that.

So apparently they wandered around downtown for awhile, visiting the Silver Snail, having a couple of beers at The Bier Markt, and buying cigars at Frank Correnti Cigars. So, it was a good guy’s day out. After a quick visit with a friend of Jason’s who works in the area they were in, they ended up in a tattoo shop. Sean has been considering getting a tattoo in commemoration of Flora’s birth. He’s been struggling with the image as I don’t think he’s keen on getting a flower (the meaning of the name Flora) tattooed on him, and wanted to make sure any tattoo he did get was the right one. (I’ve tried to veto the use of a fireflower for Super Mario Brothers with her name and birthdate underneath, but I need to remember that it’s not my body – I just have to look at it.)

So they were looking at the different designs in the shop when Jason (ever the good friend), points out the sample of the original Belleville Bulls logo. Sean has always said that if he won the lottery, he would buy the Belleville Bulls – he’s that big a Bull Booster. So he was excited to see the Bulls logo in tattoo form, and once he saw that artwork, made an appointment right away to get it put on his calf.

Keep in mind that I don’t know any of this is happening right now. I’m home with Flora thinking that these two are spending too much money on GI Joe action figures and getting their pictures taken with Star Wars characters and Transformers.

At about 6PM, Jason and Sean come in. Jason is in first and gives me a very low-key “hi”. I ask what’s going on, and he kinda points at Sean, mumbling that something happened to him. As he hobbled through the door, I see that Sean is all bandaged up. “What the hell happened to you?” I ask (it was more sympathetic than it sounds). Sean then tells me that he was hit by a cyclist while walking downtown and it scraped up his leg really bad. They flagged down a paramedic driving by and he bandaged it up. Shocked and worried, I ask if he’s all right and if he needs stitches or followup care. He says it needs to be wrapped until tomorrow, but he’s essentially okay – the pebbles have been cleaned out and the wound looks dressed enough that it won’t leak all over the couch or sheets.

The evening progresses and I put Flora to bed. Once she is down, I go on my computer in the next room to kill time while making sure that Flora is really going down for the night. I open up Facebook and I see that Sean has updated his profile picture. To the picture you see above.

I know Sean is a big Bulls fan, but I think to myself “it’s tacky to use someone else’s tattoo as your profile photo”. When I looked closer, I thought to myself “holy shit, that’s *my* couch in the background of that photo”. I go downstairs and make the following statement:

“I had to find out you got a new tattoo via Facebook?”

Big laughs all around. They wondered how long it would take me to find out. Turns out I found out about two minutes after the photo was posted. There was no teenage cyclist who ran my husband down. The two of them concocted that story on the way home.

It’s a good thing I checked Facebook tonight. I had planned to write a Twitter status, complaining about assholes on bikes who run down people and don’t even stay to apologize or help the victim get up. And that would have been posted to Facebook too.

And that would have just looked silly, given what I know now. Our friends would think we never talk to each other.

Modern communication between a husband and wife © melissa price-mitchell, Creative Commons Attribution-NonCommercial-NoDerivs 2.5 Canada.

Yesterday, I read a blog post from the good women at Lunapads about an article written by Katie Roiphe called “Get Your Kid Off Your Facebook Page“. Ms Roiphe doesn’t think women should use their Facebook profile picture to show off pictures of their kids because it means that they are hiding behind their children. She then states:

“The choice may seem trivial, but the whole idea behind Facebook is to create a social persona, an image of who you are projected into hundreds of bedrooms and cafes and offices across the country. Why would that image be of someone else, however closely bound they are to your life, genetically and otherwise? The choice seems to constitute a retreat to an older form of identity, to a time when women were called Mrs. John Smith, to a time when fresh scrubbed Vassar girls were losing their minds amidst vacuum cleaners and sandboxes. Which is not to say that I don’t understand the temptation to put a photograph of your beautiful child on Facebook, because I do. After all, it frees you of the burden of looking halfway decent for a picture, and of the whole excruciating business of being yourself.“

(emphasis mine)

In the first emphasized sentence, I understand where she’s coming from. If my Facebook page (or any other online profile) is to be my little portal to the rest of the world and completely devoted to me and my life, well, shouldn’t the picture be of me? Or at least have me in it? The second emphasized sentence however, made me angry. It perpetuates the stereotype that mothers of young children are barely functioning, poorly-dressed zombies who can only talk about their children’s achievements. I don’t know a single mother who lives up to this stereotype, and most of the mums I know are first-time mums of babies – prime candidates.

As one of those first-time mums, I can’t speak for more experienced mothers but I am the first to admit that new mums spend a lot of time talking about their babies. I’m sure I’ve overshared with the wrong people, but I do generally try to keep the baby talk to a minimum among people who are not all that interested in it. I get that *my* baby isn’t the biggest thing in *your* life. But when you spend virtually all your time with your child for months on end (I know many women don’t have this luxury and I’m thankful for Canada’s employment laws), well there’s not always a lot else for me to initiate a conversation about. I was shocked at how small my world became when my daughter was first born. I just wasn’t doing much else outside of mothering. And the stuff I *was* doing (napping, doing housework and catching up with what was on TV or going on online) wasn’t usually worth starting a conversation over.  Also, keep in mind that it takes a minimum of two people to have a conversation. You’re welcome to change the subject, or even ask me to tone it down. I would not be offended, and would probably love to talk about something else anyway.

Back to the subject at hand. All of the above reasoning for my less-than-stellar conversation skills can apply to why I’m putting pictures of my kid on my Facebook page (or Flickr, or Twitter, or this website). I’m taking a lot more pictures of her right now than I am of myself. I take most of the pictures in our family and right now, most of the pictures I’m taking are of my daughter. And when I want to show my friends how she is growing and changing, Facebook is an easy tool to do that. My friends check Facebook, but don’t always visit this website or any other social site I frequent.

I agree with Ms Roiphe that you shouldn’t hide behind your children. I don’t think using your Facebook profile photo to show off a cute kid picture is always proof that that is what a mother is doing. I decided a long time ago (before Flora was born) that my Facebook photo would always have me as the main picture. In part because I didn’t want people to think I didn’t exist without my husband, but mostly because I wanted people to know it was *my* profile when they searched my name, especially since I hyphenated it after I got married. Now when I post a new picture, I often use one of Flora and I, not because I’m hiding behind her, but because there just aren’t that many pictures of the two of us together and I want to show them off. Those pictures make me happy, which I think is a great thing to share with my friends, Facebook or otherwise. If someone else wants to show a picture of just their kid alone because it makes them happy, I say go to town.

Naturally this article doesn’t mention the dads putting up pictures of their babies as their profile picture. Because of course, they’re not hiding behind their children, they’re just showing off a cute kid. My husband has used pictures of Flora alone as his profile picture. She was brand new and it was the fastest way to get her picture out to a lot of people. Now he has a picture of the two of them together, and I imagine it’s for the same reason I chose mine – it makes him happy.

Another interesting site somewhat related to this subject is The 30 Standard Facebook Profile Photo Styles. Mr. O’Neill sums up the various styles succintly. One could certainly analyze each of these picture styles to death to find out what each user is hiding, avoiding or showing off. Personally, I think I’ll just say “what a great new picture” and not overthink it too much.

Oh, and by the way, are formal at-home dinner parties really that common in the parents-of-young-children age group? The dinner party seems like such a go-to example to dump on parents and their child-rearing abilities and yet I don’t think I’ve ever been to one. I have people over and we eat, but it’s not the big hairy deal everyone makes it out to be.

Picking the *right* profile photo is agonizing enough, thanks © melissa price-mitchell, Creative Commons Attribution-NonCommercial-NoDerivs 2.5 Canada.

I’m working on migrating posts from my other blogs so that hellomelissa.net will be my predominant home on the web.

That means the site will likely be screwy for the next little while. Please bear with me. Once it’s sorted out, new content will be posted and things will go back to normal.

Hello world! © melissa price-mitchell, Creative Commons Attribution-NonCommercial-NoDerivs 2.5 Canada.

I am such a sucker for these quizzes. And it’s good to post something on here that isn’t baby-related.

Here goes:

1. WERE YOU NAMED AFTER ANYONE? I don’t think so, but now I want to ask my mom about it.

2. WHEN WAS THE LAST TIME YOU CRIED? I think Thursday. Flora would not go to sleep and I was getting frustrated. Once she finally fell asleep she smiled a little in her crib (which was due to gas), I cried a little more. And I thought my hormones were sorted out by now!

3. DO YOU LIKE YOUR HANDWRITING? When it’s legible, yes.

4. WHAT IS YOUR FAVORITE LUNCH MEAT? I don’t eat a lot of lunch meat, but turkey is okay. The sub shop in my hometown makes a really good turkey and bacon sub (actually, all their subs are good), and that’s where I eat most of my lunch meat.

5. DO YOU HAVE KIDS? I have one daughter. That is still weird to type. She is seven weeks old

6. IF YOU WERE ANOTHER PERSON WOULD YOU BE FRIENDS WITH YOU? I hope so, or I’m not a very nice person.

7. DO YOU USE SARCASM A LOT? Uh, yeah!

8. DO YOU STILL HAVE YOUR TONSILS? Yes.

9. WOULD YOU BUNGEE JUMP? I used to want to when I was younger, but now I’m not so sure. That last sentence made me feel old

10. WHAT IS YOUR FAVORITE CEREAL? Honey Nut Cheerios.

11. DO YOU UNTIE YOUR SHOES WHEN YOU TAKE THEM OFF? It depends on the shoe and how it fits.

12. DO YOU THINK YOU ARE STRONG? Sometimes. I’d like to be stronger though.

13. WHAT IS YOUR FAVORITE ICE CREAM? I haven’t met too many flavours I don’t like, but we seem to buy vanilla the most.

14. WHAT IS THE FIRST THING YOU NOTICE ABOUT PEOPLE? It’s different for every person.

15. RED OR PINK? I wear a lot more pink, but red has its place too.

16. WHAT DO YOU LIKE LEAST ABOUT YOURSELF ? My weight bums me out sometimes, but I try not to get too bent out of shape about it.

17. WHO DO YOU MISS THE MOST? My dad. He died back in 1991, just before I turned 13 years old. I wish I could have known him as an adult – I think his two pre-teen daughters were starting to bewilder him. I have a hard time picturing him as a grandfather since he died so young (38), and that makes me sad. I think he would have been a good one though. I just wish he could have had the opportunity to do so. (If I write any more, I’ll have to change the answer to #2.)

18. FAVOURITE INDULGENCE? Spicy Nacho Doritos, wine (not together)

19. WHAT COLOR PANTS AND SHOES ARE YOU WEARING? blue jeans, black socks with beige flowers on them

20. WHAT WAS THE LAST THING YOU ATE? crackers

21. WHAT ARE YOU LISTENING TO RIGHT NOW? the clicking keyboard and the occasional squeak from Flora who is sleeping in the next room

22. IF YOU WHERE A CRAYON, WHAT COLOUR WOULD YOU BE? Probably a deep purple-y pink

23. FAVORITE SMELLS? my husband, tomato leaves, lavender, Flora after a bath

24. WHO WAS THE LAST PERSON YOU TALKED TO ON THE PHONE? my husband

25. BROTHERS AND SISTERS? one sister, four stepbrothers

26. FAVORITE SPORT TO WATCH? hockey on TV, basketball live (but I’m not a big sport watcher generally)

27. HAIR COLOR? dark red dyejob

28. EYE COLOR? blue/green

29. DO YOU WEAR CONTACTS? no – can’t fathom sticking something in my eye on purpose

30. FAVORITE FOOD? tomatoes, cheese and garlic – you can always make a meal based on those three items

31. SCARY MOVIES OR HAPPY ENDINGS? happy endings – I hate scary movies

32. LAST MOVIE YOU WATCHED? In full? I’m not sure

33. WHAT COLOR SHIRT ARE YOU WEARING? black

34. SUMMER OR WINTER? summer,summer, summer

35. HUGS OR KISSES? all the above

36. FAVORITE DESSERT? pie (apple or raspberry)

37. TOP OR BOTTOM? none of your beeswax

38. FAVOURITE SHOES: I heart my Birkenstocks. I’ve worn the soles down, so I’ll probably need a new pair next summer

39. WHAT BOOK ARE YOU READING NOW? Mostly baby care books, but I picked up “Life on Planet Rock” by Lonn Friend and I’m rereading that again.

40. WHAT IS ON YOUR MOUSEPAD? No mousepad – laser mouse

41. WHAT DID YOU WATCH ON T.V. LAST NIGHT? I’m thinking back, and I don’t remember. I PVR everything I watch regularly so I can watch the shows when Flora is asleep or feeding

42. FAVORITE SOUND? The rain

43. ROLLING STONES OR BEATLES? Queen

44. WHAT IS THE FARTHEST YOU HAVE BEEN FROM HOME? I went to the Dominican Republic on vacation in January – was very fun

45. DO YOU HAVE A SPECIAL TALENT? Aren’t all talents special?

46. WHERE AND WHEN WERE YOU BORN? I was born in Picton, Ontario in 1978

Don’t forget to fill out your version of this questionnaire!

Another one of those “get to know you” questionnaires © melissa price-mitchell, Creative Commons Attribution-NonCommercial-NoDerivs 2.5 Canada.

haven’t filled out one of these in awhile… © melissa price-mitchell, Creative Commons Attribution-NonCommercial-NoDerivs 2.5 Canada.