community – hellomelissa.net

So my Blissdom recap is happening more a full week after I came home from the last party. You know, the one where that guy from the late-80s boyband showed up.

No matter, I’m choosing to believe that I’ve taken time to consider my thoughts and formulate my opinions. It was not that my laptop was busted or that I have a life outside of the Internet – I mean really, who has *that* these days?

So I went to Blissdom Canada. I had a good time. It felt different from last year. I’ve been reading everyone else’s blogs all week and I’m not the only one who feels that way. I’m just glad I’m not crazy! The conference, and expo hall, were much larger. The round tables at the front of the session rooms filled up quickly so I usually ended up in the rows of seats at the back of the room. That took away from the community vibe a bit, but doing the whole room with tables would have fit fewer people in so I get why it was done that way.

A lot of people talked about feeling alone or disconnected from other people at the conference. I felt that way too sometimes, but honestly, I expected that. I go to these conferences alone. I’ve connected with lots of the attendees online and met several of them last year. Even with that ‘in’, I don’t like to interrupt other people’s conversations. I often spend a lot of time listening or observing in group situations. By the time I’m ready to comment on something, the moment has passed. I did my best to come out of my shell, but I know I didn’t interact nearly as much as I observed and listened. I did have a great dinner Friday night with Mel and Sherrie Mae, which made up for a lot of the shyness I was feeling earlier in the day.

Many (but not all) of the sessions talked about monetizing your blog, building your personal/professional brand, and working with corporate brands. I left the conference with my intent not to do any of those things intact. I’ve been comforted to learn this week that I am not the only person that feels that way.

When I introduced myself to people, my answer to their first question “how long have you been blogging?” was usually “I’ve been writing online for 11 years, but I’m not very good at it, because my stats aren’t great and my readership is small.” I inwardly cringed every time I said this, but I couldn’t stop myself. I was trying to build myself up by mentioning my longevity in the genre (even though longevity doesn’t really matter). Then I instantly knocked myself back down by saying that even though I have lots of experience, I’m still not “good at it”.

Way to go, self.

I don’t have as many readers and feedback as someone who hustles like crazy to promote themselves and their blog. While I have been blogging a long time, I haven’t always done it consistently. I also haven’t participated in the community aspect of blogging as much as I would like. I read, but rarely comment. (Hey, I remember when blogs didn’t even have comments!) So really, what am I doing to earn readers and feedback?

I want my voice, my writing, to matter. I realize this makes me sound incredibly narcissistic. I write about my life on the internet as a hobby – of course I’m (at least a little) narcissistic.

So ultimately, my takeaways are as follows:

In order to publish more, I need to write more. I need to find the time to do this.
I need to earn the feedback I want. Good writing is only the start.
I need to get a better handle on tasteful promotion, so I can get what I want without feeling gross or dirty about it.
I need to stop diminishing myself and develop confidence in my writing and my voice.

Now to actually get started on these things. Advice is welcome.

December 7 Prompt

Author: Cali Harris
caligater.com
@caligater

Prompt: Community. Where have you discovered community, online or otherwise, in 2010? What community would you like to join, create or more deeply connect with in 2011?

reverb10.com

This article, posted yesterday on parentcentral.ca sums up some of my feelings on community:

First-time moms more likely to tweet and text than others

I was tweeting for over a year before I became a parent, but I found my usage really took off once I became a mum and was at home with the baby. I posted in other places too: Facebook, my “baby board” – a message board geared to mums with babies born in the same month as mine, my website, Flickr and so many places.

Having a baby just gave me so much to say to the world. I think that was because when I was at home, I was talking to myself or the newborn, who didn’t talk back yet. I needed an outlet for all the little things I wanted to say, but would forget by the time my husband returned from work. (By then, those little things weren’t usually as important anyway.)

Once I got out of the newborn haze, it was easier to reach out to the world and talk about things other than parenting a baby. I struggled with talking and posting about her too much, and reminded myself to talk about the rest of my life. Like most new mums though, my world was small and didn’t stretch much beyond my daughter. As she got older, my world got bigger, and now I feel like I’m part of the world as a person again, and not just a parent.

Two years ago, I never could have participated in this type of writing project. It would have been boring, repetitive and I wouldn’t have had the time. It may still be occasionally boring and repetitive now, but at least I’m not saying “ZOMG BAYBEEZ!” in every sentence.

I have been so grateful to connect with so many people online, whether they are parents or not. Going to Blissdom Canada this year allowed me to take that sense of community into the real world, and I hope to repeat that in 2011.

I find it easier to reach out online. Now I need to do a little more reaching out in the real world. I hope to do both in 2011.